Today was one of those days that was fabulous, but that also provided me with an opportunity to demonstrate the Siemionko genetic heritage of being a book smart person that can’t engage in general life tasks.
Where does the gas pump go again?
So I may or may not have already told this story, but my father Magoo is incredibly bright. I mean, everyone in my family is smart (and super humble lezz-be honest), but my dad is like, super smart. Like he should wear a cape smart. He has a PhD in inorganic chemistry; I can’t tell you if scandium is an element or someone from Scandanavia (shout out to Marla Bee right there). He helped saved one of DuPont’s businesses and has more patents than I have pairs of shoes.
Oh my god, shoes.
While Magoo is very book smart, he lacks… certain life skills. Here’s a common scenario of a day in my mother’s life prior to dad’s retirement: Mom gets up with dad, they have breakfast, and he leaves for work. An hour later, mom goes to get in her car…
Except she can’t. Because Magoo took it, because he has an inability to pump gas. Sighing, she goes to the grocery store to buy milk. When she goes to take her cash out, she finds her wallet empty, because Magoo can’t operate an ATM machine.
See where I’m going with this?
So yesterday, after working on my insanely awesome jigsaw puzzle (oh the thrills of single gay life), I set two alarms on my cell phone because I’m sleeping in the living room for the cross breeze because I live on the surface of the SUN.
Salt Lake in June: Pre-gaming for hell.
In any event, I go to sleep, wake up a few times, and then check my phone to see if I have time for a few extra winks only to find out that I set two alarms.
So after two decades of schooling and some fancy degrees, I have a small problem with electronics. And literacy. And money, which is not news to anyone since I’ve been vocal about Big G putting me on a budget that reduces most grown men to tears.
What do you mean Happy Endings is cancelled?!
So oops, I did it again. I was able to submit two grant reports and a request for $50K to Edwards LifeSciences but am prone to forgetting that I’ve already wished someone a Happy Birthday on their actual birthday and not two days later when I think it is in reality. All I can say is that while I am proud of my abilities to engage in cognitive thought at a higher level, I’m also surprised I’ve survived in the wild for this long unsupervised.
Stay classy Salt Lake.