Vibrams: Condoms for your Feet

I have infamously bad taste when it comes to footwear. I like anything that doesn’t require tying my shoes, and I live for velcro. And when I found these shoes that separate your toes on a clearance at REI (whatever the hell I was doing, don’t ask, it must have been for work or something), I knew I’d found my new favorite shoes.

Image

I know they’re ugly. But they’re some comfortable!

After a 5 year long stint with my Crocs (which I have been told by others are clunky, ugly, and even offensive) I’ve switched gears on good weather days to my Vibrams, which keep my toes from bunching and provide basic arch support. And while they’ll never win a fashion contest, they are f-ing comfortable as all get out. And I can typically find some when I hit up my favorite places in the whole wide world: Clearance sales.

ImageI live there. I bought a house there. One man’s trash is my treasure.

So while I know there are haters out there that think my finger-toe-shoes are ugly, I say bring it. Because at the end of the day, as you judge me for my footwear, I judge you for your tacky sweaters and assless chaps. Which I thankfully missed last night when I went out with V. We rocked Try-Angles (where people who should not have been wearing nothing but underwear in public were the only people participating in the underwear night) and then I hit on my favorite bartender for a drinky or two while trying, and failing, to get the one hot guy to notice me. He, instead, spent all night chasing boys that frankly I thought I was cuter than. Pretentious? Maybe. But still true.

ImageOk, I think I’m cuter than this, no?

So now I’m in the process of editing the book I wrote in less than two weeks. Which was madness. I’m firmly planted on the couch after playing with Newbs, watching terrible Sunday afternoon television and wondering how to spend the rest of my weekend. Movies? Reading? Making out with some hot dude that just shows up at my house, wanting a cup of sugar?

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He can have all the sugar he wants.

So until next time, stay classy (and fashion-impaired) Salt Lake.

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